Graduation
by alcimines
Summary: Logan and Raven are the worst parents in the world. Except they really aren't.


GRADUATION

Logan and Raven were honestly trying their level best to be as civil as possible to each other. In other words, they were being complete assholes, but at least they weren't engaged in a knock-down, drag-out brawl that involved claws, gunfire, bloodshed, and innocent bystanders.

Raven was dressed in a black dress that modestly fell to just below her knees. A pearl necklace, a miniature handbag, and expensive Italian high-heeled shoes completed her ensemble. It was a look that went surprisingly well with blue skin, yellow eyes, red hair, and an irritated sneer.

"Hello, Logan," Raven said evenly as she carefully examined him for any sign of exploitable weakness. "Long time, no see. Are there any new adolescent girls in your life?"

Logan was wearing a gray suit, a bolo tie, and mirror-polished black cowboy boots. Despite the uncharacteristically formal dress, the Archangel Gabriel had not yet appeared in the heavens to sound his trumpet, thus heralding the End of Days. However, more than a few people were betting that it was just a matter of time.

Logan grinned nastily right back at Raven.

"Hi, Raven. Glad to see that you're finally out of jail again. Did you finally get all of those lesbian shower-bondage fantasies out of your system?"

Standing next to the two imminent combatants, Kitty rolled her eyes heavenward and then shot a desperate look towards Kurt, Rogue, and Laura, silently pleading for help.

Laura had long since adopted a policy of ignoring what everyone else called "The Logan and Raven Show", so she was no help. Meanwhile, Kurt sighed in frustration - this time, Logan and Raven had been in other's presence for less than ten seconds before hostilities began - and opened his mouth to say something. However, Rogue angrily beat him to the punch.

"All right you two," she hissed. "Don't you even think of ruining this day for Jimmy!"

That was pretty much the only thing anyone could say that would actually cool Logan and Raven off. Much to everyone else's relief, Logan and Raven grudgingly reacted as Rogue expected and stopped snarling at each other.

Kurt and Kitty looked gratefully at the still-fuming Rogue.

"Let's find someplace to sit down," Logan growled at nobody in particular.

Raven nodded in short, sharp agreement. Then the two of them began wading through the crowd. Apparently nobody else's opinion mattered.

With Logan in the lead, they quickly found a cluster of empty seats. Kurt and Kitty exchanged an eyebrows-raised glance as Logan and Raven sat next to one another - each studiously pretending not to notice that the other was present. Rogue, on the other hand, snorted derisively - which earned her a long and deadly look from her adopted mother. Rogue ignored it, but otherwise kept her mouth shut. Laura shrugged-off the melodrama and quietly flowed into the aisle chair, automatically going into her usual bodyguard position.

Cold silence dominated the group of six as they watched the graduation ceremony begin. Nobody could think of anything to say that might not start a three-way riot.

The silence lasted until the music kicked in and two long lines of students began filing into the auditorium.

"There he is!" Kitty said excitedly, pointing at a figure near the front of the procession of students.

James Charles Darkholme was taller than his mother and his father (admittedly, the latter was not a terribly difficult feat). His skin was a light shade of blue - much lighter than his mother and older brother. He was ruggedly handsome and his eyes were definitely his father's. A long, black ponytail dangled out from under his cap and fell down to his lower back. As he and the other students marched towards a neatly arrayed rectangle of chairs, Jimmy eagerly scanned the crowd. A huge grin broke out on his face when he spotted his family.

Jimmy enthusiastically waved at them. Everyone waved back - even Laura - without the slightest trace of self-consciousness.

The procession petered to a halt as the students filed into their seats. Then the long, nigh-unbearable college graduation ritual began. The Dean of the University made an autopilot speech that he had given over two dozen times before - he was smart enough to know that he should keep it short. Then he introduced the commencement speaker. The speaker had inherited a major east-coast news-media empire and had never done anything in his life to actually earn a living. His speech was about the importance of scholastic excellence, hard work, and personal initiative.

After the first five minutes of the speech, Logan and Raven began openly discussing the mechanics of killing the speaker.

"It's simple," Logan grunted. "Rush the stage. Get close. Gut him."

Raven impatiently shook her head. "A sniper rifle would be better."

"Why?" Logan challenged.

Raven contemptuously gestured towards an overweight campus cop who has standing nearby. "The rent-a-cops don't deserve to die. They didn't choose this dipshit of a speaker."

"Okay, that's a good point," Logan conceded. "But how about the Dean and the Chairwoman?"

"Of course they should die! Stop stating the obvious!"

Laura utterly refused to react to the conversation. Kitty and Rogue ignored it as best they could. Kurt considered telling Logan and Mystique to shut up, but then decided that it was the only way he could envision them having a non-hostile discussion.

Eventually, the speaker finished. The applause was surprisingly energetic.

"Everyone's glad he's done," Rogue snarked to anyone who was willing to listen.

"Hush," Kitty and Kurt told her together.

"After the ceremony, we should take Jimmy to someplace nice for dinner," Raven said.

Logan thought that over. "He likes the fried chicken at the Cook-Shed."

"Some. Place. Nice," Raven said through gritted teeth.

Logan glared Raven. "Okay. You pick the place. Make sure it's someplace he's never been before and probably won't like instead of a place he loves."

Kurt looked skyward for heavenly strength and then half-shouted, "For the love of God, let Jimmy choose where to eat!"

Logan and Raven considered Kurt's simple statement of common sense. Then they relapsed into a grumpy silence that passed for agreement.

The honor students were awarded their diplomas first. Jimmy was among them and everyone in his family cheered lustily as he walked up to the stage. Jimmy took his diploma, shook hands with the Dean and the Chairwoman of his College, and walked off the stage, giving a thumbs-up sign to everyone just before he climbed down the stairs.

Rogue nudged Kitty and Rogue, and then tilted her head towards the Problem Adults. Logan and Raven were both wearing smiles - and they were holding hands. Laura was looking away from them, trying to hide a tiny smile of her own.

"He's so handsome," Raven said quietly to Logan.

Logan glanced at Raven and chuckled, "He's got your looks and brains. Good thing."

There were a few final words. The Dean congratulated the graduating class and politely declared that he was well done with them. And then a cheer rocked the auditorium as over a hundred black mortarboard caps were flung into the air.

Still smiling, Logan and Raven got to their feet. Then they noticed they were holding hands. They immediately let go as if they were holding hot skillets.

Jimmy ran across the across the auditorium floor and vaulted over the rail into the seating area. "Mom! Dad!" he called eagerly as he clattered up the stairs.

Raven intercepted her youngest son before he covered half the distance between them and wrapped him up in a tight embrace. Logan followed more slowly - it had been a while since Raven had seen Jimmy.

And for a just a second or two, Raven wasn't a mutant, or a killer, or a border-line psychopath. She was a mother checking her youngest for signs that he was in good health, eating well, and happy.

Then Logan smiled and reached over to tousle Jimmy's hair.

"Dinner's on me," Logan told his son. "Where do you want to go?"

Jimmy kissed his mother on her forehead and the frowned thoughtfully. "How about the Cook-Shed? The fried chicken is great!"

"Sure," Logan said. The sheer amount of gloating he managed to pack into that one word is difficult to describe.

Raven made a point of not reacting to Logan's triumph as she finally let go of Jimmy. His siblings and sort-of siblings then crowded in to congratulate him. Laura got up on her tiptoes to kiss Jimmy on the chin - there was a considerable height difference between them. Jimmy solved the problem by picking her up and kissing Laura on both cheeks.

Ignored the moment by everyone else, Logan and Raven locked eyes.

"You have a room?" Raven asked quietly.

Logan nodded. "The Swan Motel. Room four."

Raven nodded back. "Anyone in particularly you want me to be tonight?"

"Let's go with the basic blue," Logan said thoughtfully. "That's always been my favorite."

A tiny smile appeared on Raven's face.

"Are you two talking about sex?" Rogue whispered.

Raven shot Rogue an irritated look. "And in a few hours we're going to be doing it. Over and over again, as a matter of fact. You're a grown woman, Rogue. Stop being such a prude."

Rogue sighed. "Mom... the last time you were in town you two ended up screwing in the school limousine. You left your panties and bra in the backseat. A couple of students found them. I'm not being a prude. I'm just asking the two of you to not do something that's just this side of a live sex-show."

Raven looked at Logan. "You never told her about that night in the Paris fountain? As I recall, we had a fair-sized crowd watching us."

Logan rolled his eyes and said nothing in an effort to keep his distance from the conversation.

"Fountain? Paris?" Rogue said dangerously.

"The Paris police were very accomodating," Raven said dismissively. "Especially that pretty gendaremette. What was her name, Logan?"

"Yvette," Logan replied after a moment of thought. "She eventually got promoted to inspector."

Raven chuckled, "Well... she certainly did a thorough job of inspecting the two us once we got back to her apartment."

"Sluts. Both of y'all. Sluts," Rogue growled in exasperation.

"Rogue - part of adulthood is acknowledging that your mother actually had a sex life. And, in fact, still has one."

Rogue wasn't listening. Instead, she was shaking her head as she stormed away.

Kitty and Kurt and Laura were excitedly talking to Jimmy's about his application to M.I.T. - he'd been accepted. Rogue joined the conversation.

Raven glanced at Logan. "M.I.T.?"

Logan nodded. "He got the letter yesterday."

"Can we afford it?" Raven asked. She sounded pretty concerned.

An uncomfortable look appeared on Logan's face "We have to talk about that. Jimmy's got a partial-scholarship, but the tuition is a bitch. I swear to God that HYDRA has taken over higher education."

"I have some money in my back-up Antiguan account." Raven said thoughtfully. "SHIELD managed to get to my other accounts."

Logan looked relieved. "And I have a sports-bag full of Japanese yen, but we'll need to launder it. Literally. It kinda got soaked with blood."

"Any of that Nazi gold left?" Raven asked as she pulled her cellphone from her purse and switched on the calculator app.

"That paid for your lawyer."

"Damn it! How about those diamonds I took from those Congolese smugglers?"

"I used them for Jimmy and Laura's degrees."

"Laura graduated? When did that happen?"

"Last fall", Logan said proudly. "She's got a degree as an emergency medical technician from Salem Center Community College. And she's applied for a job with the county rescue service. She's gonna be the deadliest paramedic on the planet."

"Dammit, Logan, why the hell didn't you tell me? I would have gone to her graduation!"

Logan shook his head. "You would have had to bust out of jail to do that."

Raven blinked in surprise. "So?"

Logan gave Raven a stern look. "We agreed. No firefights with the authorities when the kids were around."

Raven sighed. "Yes. Yes, we did. But... do you have any pictures of her in her cap and gown?"

Logan laughed. "Of course. She looks like an angel."

Raven smiled. Then she looked down at her calculator and turned serious.

"So how much yen do you have?" she asked. "And what's the exchange rate to dollars?"

Logan leaned over so he could see the numbers on the calculator. Without thinking about it, his arm encircled Raven's waist. And, without thinking about it, Raven leaned into Logan and rested her head on his shoulder.

Off to one side, Jimmy looked at Rogue - and nodded towards his parents.

All Rogue could do was shake her head.


End file.
